The world has not stopped spinning, it has merely come to an end.
This doesn't feel right.We shouldn't be laughing, we shouldn't be smiling. We should not be carrying on as if everything is okay. Because it is not okay. It will never be OKAY.
Because he's like sand now, just slipping through our fingertips
and no one can hold on. No one can see the light or reignite the light.
It's just gone. Blown out by some bitter wind that swept away our hearts when it went.
And every time I look into those haunted eyes I break down. But I can't stop staring, can't stop searching... can't stop praying that, somewhere, he's still there.
And I can hear them telling me to pull it together, to hold myself in place, to be strong. And I am so tired of being strong, so tired of being the one that has to hold others when they cry and promise them that things are going to be alright when I know they aren't. I just want someone to hold ME for awhile, to tell ME that things are going to be okay. I just want some sort of hope to hold onto, even if it's not something I can really believe in. I just want oblivion to sweep me away.
I want to sleep and let my dreams wash the thoughts away, and when I wake up I want him to be okay again. I don't want to lose him, I can't lose him. He's all I have left and when he goes I will be nothing. Nothing at all.
On Sunday, April 18, 2010 at 6:17 PM
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