Wasn't it supposed to be grand?
As I stood in the crowd amongst the other 2009 graduates of my school, I couldn't help but feel detached. I didn't cry, or feel sad. I didn't have a rush of nostalgia, or memories. And I certainly didn't look around and think "Hey, I'm gonna miss that person!".Graduating mid-term was probably best for me. I broke free. I grew up. And, in the end, all the opinions and comments that came from other people over the years...the ones I'd been holding onto... just slipped away. It's true what they say; after you graduate... all the stuff that happened in high school just doesn't matter anymore.
I grew up a lot in those 6 months. So much, in fact, that I could just feel the huge gap between me and several of the people in that gym. I wasn't one of them anymore. Maybe I never had been, and it had just taken getting away to realize it.
I watched as, during our graduation rehearsal, kids around me made fun of various people that took their turns to practice walking across the stage. One week before their high school graduation, and they're really that immature? It shocked me. I guess I thought that the amount of change that happened to me while I was gone must have happened to everyone else as well. Apparently I was wrong.
Maybe being gone so long is why I couldn't fully join in on the celebration. The whole ceremony just drifted by without me feeling a single thing. And when they blew out the confetti and the kids pulled out the silly string, I just stood there and politely smiled. I had to try to look happy for the cameras flashing around me. But, in reality, it was just so bland. It made me realize, that a ceremony, while making things official, is not needed to make things official in your heart.
I thought graduation was going to be amazing, great. I thought I was going to grin big and feel free. But, instead, I felt out of place, standing in a sea of purple amongst faces of people I no longer know.
On Thursday, June 18, 2009 at 12:33 PM
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