Rush.
This was my fifth blog post on Zinch, I just felt the need to share :).It starts out black at first. There is nothing but pure, velvety, impenetrable darkness; no feeling, no sound. It is as if I do not exist in physical form. I am merely floating, like a leaf caught in a gentle breeze. And then, slowly at first, trickles of golden light begin to drip across my vision; I can feel my fingertips. Faster they go, forming a web; I can feel my arms, my legs, my feet and toes. Then suddenly the light retracts, falling in on itself and forming one solid ball that shines brightly into my eyes. I can feel it's warmth emanating and glowing on my skin. I reach out to brush my fingers across it, and it explodes. In a rush of earsplitting silence, my hair is blown back and my senses ignited. Colors begin to whirl around me, bringing me to life and
introducing the beat to a song I have never heard, but seem to know by heart. And then the colors are off, streaking past me at the speed of light. And I am dancing, with nothing but the sound of the music and the feel of other bodies pressing against mine. Every nerve in my body is on fire and every thought is blocked out by the instincts urging me to move. The sounds around me become muted until l can hear nothing more than my own breathing in my ears, with the backdrop of a muffled beat. Suddenly, everyone freezes and the music stops.Walking toward me through the crowd is a small girl, dark brown hair flowing down in soft waves to her hips, with her white sundress floating around her like it's caught in the wind. A long golden chain hangs around her neck, with a heart-shaped locket dangling at it's end. She stops a few feet away from me and just stares. I feel as if seeing her has completed me, as if she is a long-lost sister or best friend. She reaches out her hand and I stumble in my haste to get near enough to reach back. Then the music is playing again, louder than ever, and the bodies around me flow back into their dance. I struggle to keep her in sight as flailing limbs obscure my vision, and hips push me back. I scream to no avail, my arm still outstretched in the ever-growing crowd, as she disappears through a black door.
I begin to panic. It's getting too hot and the vigorous movements of the people around me are beginning to hurt; flying elbows and arms are being jabbed right into my stomach. The music is much too loud, I feel as if my eardrums are being ripped out. I close my eyes, clamping my hands over my ears, and let out a cry. When I open my eyes again the room is empty. I let out a sigh and run to the black door. But, when I push it open I fall.
I'm crashing through floor after floor of rooms wallpapered in pictures. I catch glimpses of the pictures as I fly by; Me in my mothers arms as a baby, Me taking my first steps, Me at the beach clad in a new bikini with waterwings on my arms. The further down I go, the newer the pictures become. It's like they're telling my life story, but I'm going much too fast to read it all. I finally stop falling when I hit the floor of a pure white room. The little girl is sitting beside me on the floor, her legs pulled together in Indian-style. She stares at me with wide eyes and tilts her head. Blood drips from my busted lip and she uses her small finger to wipe it away then leans in close to my ear. "Slow down" she whispers. And then I fall through the floor again, swallowed by darkness.
When I wake up I am gasping for air. My blankets have wrapped themselves around my arms and legs like thick vines. I tear at them, wrenching them from limbs. When my arms are freed, my hands fly automatically to my chest where a heart-shaped locket dangles from a long golden chain. When I turn my head my eyes are drawn to the picture on my night stand: Me wearing a white sundress at the beach with my hair flowing down to my waist and my locket secured around my neck, my brother crawling in the sand next to me. I sigh and fall back into my pillows, letting my breathing even out. As I stare at the glowing stars pasted to my ceiling I tell myself that, tomorrow, I'm going to take my brother and sister to the beach. We'll build a sand castle and I'll act like a kid.
On Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 8:49 PM
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