Because somewhere, somehow, we are staring up at the same dark sky...and our hearts are racing in one single harmony.
leaving New York that night was probably one of the most painful things I have ever went through. I mean, it wasn't as if I was dying...but trying not to cry when you really need to is torture. And of course I only lost in the end.I hate that I'm not older. That I'm not more mature. That I'm not smarter, or faster, or more confident. I wish that I didn't have to be in school, and that I didn't have to work. I wish I wasn't such a child....that I could take care of myself, and have the ability to fully grasp an understanding of important situations. I wish I could still be there now, and that a part of my heart hadn't been left behind, and we pulled away that rainy night. I wish I would have loved stronger, wished harder, and held on tighter. I wish I would have seen my childhood for what it was, and lived it to the fullest. Because I will never, ever get those days back. And I will never, ever get my family back....not fully. I'm still so young, and still so very much the same....but I know I'm not supposed to be. Everyone else has grown up, but I'm still that five year old girl that looks up to her big cousins, and cries over everything. I'm still that seven year old that writes stories, and daydreams far too much. I'm still that ten year old that curiosity overwhelms as she tries to figure out what love means.
Sometimes I think that, if I had just grown up the way everyone else did, that it wouldn't hurt so much. I wouldn't be ripped away so hard, because I wouldnt be so attatched.
On Friday, November 14, 2008 at 8:52 PM
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